My Beloved Curmudgeon and I have a reasonably happy marriage. Most of the time we get along well, enjoy the same things, have basically the same views (I’m not quite as hard-core as he is), think the same things are funny and have the same cynical outlook on life.
In between those times we tolerate each other as best we can.
The content times last longer now than the ‘why am I putting up with this?’ times. There have been times, over the years, that it was the other way around. Maybe as time has gone by we’ve both mellowed out a little and gotten a little more accepting of each other’s eccentricities.
I have learned a few things along the way about marriage. So I’ll pass along a few of my little pearls of wisdom … (Lucky whoever is reading this!)
From the beginning I noticed that he and I are at approximately the same level of sloppiness. We are pretty much equals in the amount of messiness we can stand.
As I was piddlin’ around the house this weekend, straightening and cleaning I was struck with that reality once again.
We both work more than full time in demanding, stressful jobs. Neither of us feel like cleaning and scrubbing when we get home. So I do most of my cleaning on the weekend. But I can’t avoid the fact that in the last few years that my housekeeping has definitly gone downhill.
I should hire someone, but I have to get the house clean enough to hire someone to clean (g). So I still do it myself.
Whenever I start cleaning, he gets up and empties the trashcans. It doesn’t matter how much is in the trashcans, it can be one single piece of paper. But he’ll go around the house emptying all the trash cans. Equal labor???
I think he feels he should be doing something since I’m cleaning.
So for today’s little pearl of wisdom:One of the keys to marital bliss is compatablity in the amount of slovenliness that is acceptable to both parties in the relationship.
goede nacht
January 16th, 2006 at 9:05 am
good point, Beth. Sounds silly; but it is that kind of thing that makes or breaks marriages.
January 16th, 2006 at 9:06 am
good point, Beth. Sounds silly; but it is that kind of thing that makes or breaks marriages.
January 16th, 2006 at 9:06 am
Again — well said and so true!
January 16th, 2006 at 9:12 am
It’s funny how before I got married, I would have thought– “Equal levels of sloppiness? What the heck does THAT have to do with marriage?” As someone who wasn’t yet married, I would have thought success in marriage was all about lofty ideals and big things. After 6 years of wedded sloppiness, I now realized that it’s the little things that will kill you (or make you kill each other, to be more accurate).
January 16th, 2006 at 11:37 am
Great reading! IS this a first in a series?
January 16th, 2006 at 12:04 pm
Thanks for y’alls comments.
Thinking Southerner - I actually was going to write something like ‘wanting to kill each other’ or ‘fantasizing of ways to stab him in his sleep’ rather than ‘wondering why am I putting up with this?’. But then I thought - hmmmm… that could come back and bite me. So I watered it down. Wouldn’t want to be accused of anything LOL
This was really funny in my head last night - but when I read it this morning, it wasn’t that funny! lol
Oh well -
Carol - I might try it again. Seeing as the curmudgeon and I have such a weird relationship - I could probably come up with some little pearls of wisdom! There’s always something going on around here. lolol
January 16th, 2006 at 5:48 pm
Keep your pearls of wisdom coming.
I work full time also, and to be fair my husband usually always shared half the cleaning work load because I was working. Now we are in the middle of major construction on our home and its me cleaning his construction mess on my days off. To be fair, I dont help with the construction, I guess he shouldnt help with the cleaning, but I am getting sooooo tired of cleaning up dry wall dust on my days off. I suppose hes getting tired of hammering nails on his days off too. Yes I too have fantasys of putting an ice pick in his head while he is sleeping LOL. But I love him too much to follow thru with it. Today at least ; )
January 17th, 2006 at 1:03 am
lol HOH - I know exactly what you mean!