Pennsylvania US Congressman John ‘Surrender’ Murtha announced Friday that he will be available for the House majority leader position when the Democrats take control of Congress in November.

This came as a surprise and an annoyance to virtually all of his colleagues.

He had carefully planned this announcement by circulating a memo around Congress on Friday to give them the weekend to celebrate their good fortune.

After only 32 years in Congress he has discovered that if he takes a stand on something people will know who he is. All he had to do was say ‘We can’t win in Iraq’ and he got to have press conferences and be quoted around the world. People began to know his name.

When he said, ‘Cut and Run.’, he got to have his picture made with his new best friends Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi and John Kerry.

This method has worked well for him thus far with press conferences to celebrate the anniversary of previous press conferences. Even more, the press is now showing up when he calls a press conference. They are hanging on his every word.

Getting into the swing of things he declared for the world press, ‘Our Marines killed in cold-blood.’ That should really give his career a boost. He might even get a Michael Moore movie out of this.

Everything going according to plan, he circulated his memo with dreams of house leadership dancing in his head.

Much to his dismay the news of the U.S. military taking out al-Quada leader al-Zarqawi over shadowed his announcement. A very clever ploy on the part of the Bush administration to marginalize him and his message.

The timing of the strike on al-Zarqawi is very suspect. What other reason could there be but to minimalize the threat Murtha is to the White House?

When informed that he has a challenger for the Pennsylvania 12th District Congressional seat, Murtha replied, ‘That’s my seat.’

‘Diana Irey is running against you, you may not be here after November.’

He replied that was ridiculous, he’s always had that seat and besides he’s going to be Majority house leader. ‘Does she have as much money as I do?’ He asked, ‘Has she had her picture made with Ted Kennedy?’

He started to walk away and then stopped, ‘Diana Irey you say? I think I’ve seen her. She’s a babe. Too bad she’s not a Democrat, I’d give her a job.’

Since the Bush Administration put al-Zarqawi on ice and staged his murder right at the point Murtha put out his memo, he will have to come up with another plan to regain his momentum.

Not to worry, he, Ted, Nancy, John and Time Mag will come up with something.

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So What’s Going On With Everybody Else?

Monday & Tuesday Open Post, June 12 & 13, 2006

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