Sunday July 2nd 2006 Vancouver, BC. Headed for Seattle, WA.
The US Navy welcomed the latest member of its fleet today.
Pictured above:
The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver , BC.
The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton “for his foresight in military budget cuts” and his conduct while president. The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F 14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F 18 Hornet aircraft which although they cannot be launched or captured on the 100 foot flight deck but form a very menacing presence.
As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board. The 20 person crew is completely diversified and includes members of all races, creeds, sex, and sexual orientation. This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter , is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.
An on board Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may sound hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.
The ship’s purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national defense - but instead in times of conflict the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada . The ship may be positioned near the Democratic National Party Headquarters for photo-op’s and can be used extensively for social experimentation, and whatever other worthless jobs, the ex-commander-in-chief and his wife can think of.
It is largely rumored that the ship will also be the set for the upcoming season of MTV’s “The Real World”.
The ship was renamed and commissioned USS William J Clinton when someone realized the USS Blowfish was already taken.
{author unknown}
January 25th, 2007 at 11:15 am
A kazillion famous men have cheated on their spouses, some got caught .. Kennedys and Roosvelts, and others didnt have the instant media and assholes like you guys who have nothing else to do but make stupid blogs……I guess it is true that people that think of things like that to do ..have nothing else much to do cause that is as far as their brain can go…..making other people suffer for their own insecurities…well Mr William Jefferson Clinton and his marvelous wife worked it out just fine didn’t they…Thats America baby….I personally feel if one can get through marital mistakes and accept them we ought to grow up and say good for you….but you of little faith or forgiveness will never grow up…you will feed upon everything evil…If you were a true Christian and a good American you would stop showing other nations how weak we think of our own……and Bill Clinton was our own…show respect for our country and the men who served in it and stop letting these terrorist think we are with them in hating the USA and the great Americans in it. By God wake up America
January 31st, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Maureen, that might be the silliest thing I have EVER heard. The military’s dislike of clinton has nothing to do with him cheating on his wife, that’s a very uninformed and ignorant thing to say. Bill clinton was quoted as saying, “I loathe the military”. WHY?? WHY?? WHY?? should they name a ship after him?
Go read some more, and stop voting Democrat so blindly.
March 4th, 2007 at 2:13 pm
Maureen, to quote you, “If you were a true Christian and a good American you would stop showing other nations how weak we think of our own……and Bill Clinton was our own…show respect for our country and the men who served in it and stop letting these terrorist think we are with them in hating the USA and the great Americans in it. By God wake up America”.
Now, how do you feel about all the erroneous negative and degrading comments the left has been hurling around the world regarding President Bush? What hypocrites you and the rest of your ilk are!
BSC: Well said Jimbo!
March 12th, 2007 at 9:49 pm
It’s the perjury, stupid.
BSC: Well, the perjury is what they got him on anyway. Wouldn’t it be good to know what Sandy Burger was working so hard to cover-up?
March 14th, 2007 at 5:07 pm
This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever read in my life what a waste of time, leave it to the GOP. Funny how they talk about the sanctity of marriage yet between three of the four presidential republican candidates there are eight marriages, do the math. Maybe they should write one about the recent conservative scandals and resignations. Ignorant Villains.