American Soldier IraqIt’s strange being the family of a Soldier during the Global War on Terror. Everyday life goes on but knowing a family member is in harms way is always in our consciousness. In my case, my son is there and a moment of the day doesn’t go by that my heart doesn’t know that he is there.

It’s the same feeling I had when I read his orders. He sent them to me for safe keeping while he’s deployed. It had his name and stats and deployment. The Global War on Terrorism, it said. My son. My little tow-haired boy. My child is fighting the Global War on Terrorism. He is fighting jihadists in the heart of the Middle East. There are people there who want to and are trying to kill him.

The feeling I had when I saw that written in an official government document stays with me whenever I let my mind go there.

Some of us watch the news too much. Some of us don’t watch it at all. We all know the feeling of dull cautious stabs in our hearts when we hear the nightly network news doing their hateful body counts. We also know the feeling of quietly exhaling with relief when we are sure it wasn’t our child and then the sadness of knowing another mother is dealing with what we so fear.

When someone asks about my children I always tell about my daughter first because I know as soon as I say my son is in Iraq the other person will get uncomfortable and the conversation will end.

A couple of weeks ago I was in a meeting with a friend who lost her husband in Iraq about this time last year. I wrote about it at the time. Her son is in Iraq now. After the meeting she made her way over to me and the next thing I knew we were talking head to head about our sons. A couple of men came over and began talking to us. We smiled and replied and every chance we got continued our conversation.

My son was just returning to Baghdad from his R&R that day and I had just told her that when the men came over. So she asked when I thought he’d arrive. One of the men smiled and asked, ‘Oh, is your son taking a trip?’. I told him he was returning to Baghdad. It was obviously not the kind of trip he was thinking of. He looked uncomfortable and then just hugged me and then hugged my friend. I think he didn’t know what to say or do. She and I continued talking and eventually I noticed the men weren’t there anymore. She and I talked all the way out of the building and to our cars. I think we lingered after the meeting for over an hour.

Later that evening I went to my mother’s for her birthday. Some of her friends dropped in. There was the usual polite conversation. Then someone mentioned that the woman sitting next to me had a son who is a Marine and in Iraq. This woman and I had never met before, but we were immediately drawn into close conversation. ‘Where is your son?’. ‘How long has he been there?’. ‘Has he moved off the FOB yet?’. We understood each other and understood what we both wanted to talk about but have precious few we can talk about it with.

When we find each other in real life we talk as though we’re starving dogs and someone has just thrown a raw steak in front of us.

You see, we live in a society that doesn’t think it’s at war. We live in a society that doesn’t want to be reminded it’s at war. And yet, our sons and daughters are at war. It’s an incongruity that leaves some of us with nothing to do but type out our frustrations on blogs.

It’s a disconnect that drives us to our knees that our sons and daughters won’t be sacrificed on the alter of political games and a society ardently striving to maintain it’s state of denial.

American Soldier Standing Guard

Photo credit:

Lt. Gen. Boykin: Counterinsurgency Methods in War on Terror Produce Results
Photo by Air Force Master Sgt. Andy Dunaway
March 01, 2007

Pfc. Moon Narine, from the 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, provides security at an Iraqi police station in Riyahd village, Jan., 31. Narine and all of the other Soldiers are in effect “sensors,” said Lt. Gen. William G. Boykin, meaning gatherers of intelligence.

Also see: American Strength