Blue Star Chronicles

I suppose that I should add the caveat that I think the shows are stupid. Apparently there are plenty of people who like them because they are still on the air. I don’t mean to disparage any of the shows and don’t want anybody to sue me so I want to be really clear about that.

These are shows he watches that I just don’t get. I THINK he watches them. Its really more like he lands on them periodically as he flies through the channels. I guess its a man thang.

1. ANY Clint Eastwood spaghetti western. I’ve seen them all I think. Lately, its been Hang em High. Its been on almost every night and we’ve watched at least parts of it every night. I like westerns as much as the next person. I just don’t get why he’ll watch a nanosecond of some show I’m interested in and say ‘We’ve already seen this’ as he’s changing the channels but we can watch Hang em High repeatedly and he seems to enjoy it just the same every time. Here’s a few clips of our conversations during any of these movies: Him: ‘Lee Van Cleef is a great bad guy.’ Me: ‘uh-huh’. The end.
2. Ice Road Trucking. I’m not kidding. I’ve actually watched this with him. I didn’t know such a show existed until I saw him watching it one night. I don’t think he knew it either but his thumb lifted up off the ‘go through the channels as supersonic speed’ button for a second and he saw truckers trucking over ice. Now we know about these guys, their lives, their families, who got sick in the last season. Sadly, this is a true story.
3. The Riffleman. I believe I’ve seen every episode.
4. Survivorman. Actually, I don’t mind this one too much. The guy that does this show is pretty funny and he is out in the wilderness literally by himself with some cameras. He’s got tonsillitis this week and he’s up near the arctic circle. It looks miserable. I’ve learned how to make fire out of nothing from this guy and fishing line out of rope. You never know when you might need to know things like that.
5. Boxing. Any kind, any where, any time. Old reruns of old boxing matches. I’m not kidding. Here’s how the conversation goes during a boxing match from 1950 something. Me: ‘Do you know who is going to win this?’ Him: ‘Yeah, the guy in the black trunks.’ Me: ‘Then why are you watching it?’ Him: ‘Because I like it’. Me: ‘But you already know the outcome’. At this point he clicks me off and doesn’t hear me anymore.
6. The Essence of Emeril. Any cooking show actually, but he really likes Emeril. He once saw him make some garlic potatoes on television and decided to make them himself. He didn’t bother to write down the recipe, it just looked good to him and he decided to make it. He figured that if a little bit of garlic make it tasty a lot of garlic should make it fantastic. I will just leave it at that the potatoes were inedible. He ate some just to prove a point. But they were really inedible.
7. Shows about how things are made. I’m not kidding! He watches shows that take you through the entire process of how candy is made, or tomatoes are canned. I’m really not kidding. I’ve asked him why he watches those shows and he says its interesting! Go figure!
8. Dog the Bounty Hunter. I’ll just leave that at that for now.
9. CSI Miami. Don’t ask me why. He likes that better than the other CSI shows. He LIKES the side-headed guy.
10. Those shows that show people doing really stupid stunts and crashing. I can’t think of the name of it.
11. Hockey. He was raised up north and was a hockey player from childhood through university. I was raised down south and knew nothing of ice hockey. I do get to hear his hockey stories while he’s watching hockey. That’s good.
12. How to make rifles and guns. I can’t think of the names of those shows either. But there are a bunch of shows about guns and how to make them and what they do and all that stuff.
13. History channel, science channel, and more. I’m running out of space to put them! lol